Neutrino Jam
by
Brad Smith
It was nine in the morning on a
Monday. Jim was sitting at the kitchen table, poring over his copy of
the L.A. Times, and sipping a mug of coffee. He wasn’t expected
at work for another hour, but he was already dressed in his typical
nine to five outfit of casual pants and button-up shirt.
A headline in the ‘Local’
section caught his attention. It read, “Fire Department to Buy
New Lifesaving Technology.” Jim looked over at the wall clock.
It was time for him to start his commute, but he never could resist
an article about a fantastic new technology.
The article read, “The Los
Angeles Fire Department has announced it’s intention to
purchase a controversial new tracking device, marketed under the name
‘Neutrino Tracker.’ The hand-held device is designed to
locate human life-signs, possibly allowing firefighters to detect
victims trapped in a collapsed building or a major fire. According to
it’s makers, it can detect a living human even through five
hundred feet of solid concrete.”
“Wow!” Jim said to
himself. “Where can I get one of those?”
The article continued, “The
decision to purchase four of the devices has met with resistance from
some Fire Department officials, due to their whopping $15, 000 price
tag.”
“Ninety thousand dollars,”
Jim muttered. “That?s a lot of money.”
Jim continued
reading: “But Fire Department Captain William Coleman, who is
credited with first bringing this new technology to the attention of
the Department, explained that ‘If those machines could only
perform half as well as their specs, they’d still be worth
every cent.’” Jim skimmed through the details of the
technology behind the device, apparently relating to the sub-atomic
particles called Neutrinos. It didn’t make much sense to him,
but then, he wasn’t a physicist.
The last paragraph of the article
intrigued him: “The inventor of the device and CEO of Neutrino
Corp., David Hennesey, railed against the backward viewpoints of
those in the stagnant academic community regarding his device: ‘I
have been most disappointed with the reactions of traditional
scientists to my new discovery. Rather than trying to explore this
amazing new technology in an open-minded way, they seem more
interested in burying it. They are afraid because this discovery was
made by a self-taught inventor rather than a PhD physicist, and this
threatens the monopoly that the ivory-tower academics have had on
science up to this point. Particularly despicable was the
narrow-minded report published by UCLA, based on an inadequate and
thoroughly biased experiment.’ Despite the UCLA report, the
Fire Commissioner's Board has expressed strong support for the new
initiative, and it is widely expected that the purchase plan will be
approved in the coming weeks.”
Jim carefully examined the page,
trying to find the rest of the article. After a few minutes of
careful examination, it finally occurred to him that the article
might actually be finished. This aggravated him enormously. The short
piece was just enough to arouse a burning curiosity, but not to
answer any of the really important questions. Jim checked the clock
again.
“Well, now I’m going to be
late for sure. I suppose another few minutes won’t make that
much difference,” Jim rationalized. He grabbed his little black
telephone book from his pocket and looked up the number of someone
from the L.A. Times that he occasionally contacted on behalf of his
company. As a favor, Jim’s contact gave him the number of the
person who wrote the article.
Jim called the writer and, after three
rings, someone picked up. “Jacinto Balleza,” the callee
stated.
“Hi, my name is Jim Sayles, and
right now I’m looking into the ‘Neutrino Tracker’
that you wrote about in today’s paper. I was wondering if I
could ask you a few questions.”
“Sure thing,” Mr. Balleza
replied amicably. “What do you want to know?”
“What’s the contact info
for Neutrino Corp?”
“They’re actually
headquartered right here in LA. They’ve got a little office and
factory rented out in an industrial mall near Dodger Stadium. The
CEO, Hennesey, said they were working on a web-site, but it wasn’t
up yet.” Mr. Balleza gave Jim the exact address and phone
number, which Jim copied into his black book.
“Did you get to play with one of
the gadget’s yourself?” Jim asked.
“Yeah, sure. When I went to
interview Hennesey, he did a quick demo.”
“What’s the Neutrino
Tracker like?”
“It’s a little, plastic,
pistol-grip thing, with a bunch of little lights on it and an antenna
that swings left and right to point at the person that it’s
located. The demo was pretty simple, actually. Henessey handed me the
Tracker and then moved left and right in front of me and the little
antenna followed him.”
“Okay. The only other thing that
I wanted to ask about was this UCLA report that’s mentioned in
the article. What exactly was it that the UCLA people did to tick
Henessey off so much?”
“I’m not really sure. I
didn’t have time to follow up on the report that he mentioned.
You know… deadlines. But if you want to look into it, the
report was written by some people in the Particle Physics Research
Group at UCLA.”
“Great. I should be able to
track them down, no problem. Thanks for all your help. If there’s
anything I can do for you…”
“If you find something
interesting, just give me the heads up, alright?”
“Count on it.”
* * *
Jim snuck out of work an hour early,
so he could to get to UCLA before everyone there had gone home for
the day. The receptionist in the Physics Department office told him
that the Particle Physics Research Group was in a certain office in
Knudsen hall. The room number seemed familiar
to him, but he couldn’t quite place it.
As he walked down the third-floor
hallway, he finally remembered when he had last been there. He
knocked on the door of room 313, and was invited in by Robert Jenkis.
Professor Jenkis looked just the same as when they had last met, with
the same lab coat and unkempt gray hair, making it seem as though no
time had passed since the last time Jim had stopped by.
“It’s Jim, right?”
the Professor asked, once they were comfortably seated.
“That’s right. How’ve
you been?” Jim greeted.
“Great! What brings you to this
bastion of erudite cognition?”
“I’m investigating a new
gadget called the ‘Neutrino Tracker.’ From what I’ve
heard, your group has done some research on it?”
Professor Jenkis smiled broadly and
said, “When I first heard of this new company, I convinced a
few of my colleagues to help me test the new device. It seemed
fitting. We are the Particle Physics Research Group, after
all. Although, I must say, testing a device like that doesn’t
have much to do with Particle Physics, even if it is the ‘Neutrino
Tracker.’”
“The CEO of Neutrino Corp
suggested that the test was biased and inadequate.”
“So I’ve heard. I’ll
tell you what. Why don’t I show you the video-record of the
test, and you can decide for yourself?”
“The test was video-taped?”
“Yes indeed, the entire test,
from start to finish.” Jenkis stood up from his chair and took
a video-tape from a shelf. The professor slid the tape into a TV/VCR
in a corner of the room.
An image of a drab, concrete block
room appeared on the screen. At the far end of the room were three
coffin-like wooden boxes, presumably with open backs, standing
upright. They were labeled ‘one’, ‘two’ and
‘three’. Three people walked on screen. One of them was
Professor Jenkis, in his trademark lab-coat. The other two were a
middle-aged man and a young woman, both in casual dress. The man was
carrying a device in his right hand which looked like some kind of
science-fiction energy blaster. The three participants quickly toured
the room and examined the partitions.
The Professor on the video began to
speak, “I would like to thank you once again for participating
in our test, Mr. Taylor. My graduate student here will be aiding in
the testing procedure that we agreed upon in our last meeting.
Everything here has been set up according to those specifications.”
The man identified as Mr. Taylor nodded gravely. Jenkis continued,
“I’ll just quickly run through the procedure one more
time. In each of the twenty trials, you and I will first leave the
room for three minutes. During this time, my graduate student will
roll a dice, record this value, and take her position behind the
appropriate partition. At the end of the time interval, we will
return to this room and proceed with the detection. In the first ten
trials, I will check and reveal to you which partition the subject is
behind. In the second ten trials, neither of us will know.”
Jim turned to the real-life Professor
Jenkis and asked, “Why would you tell that Taylor guy which
partition the subject is behind? Isn’t he supposed to
tell you that?”
“We always start with a set of
trials where the person knows the correct answer, so that if they
fail the second set of tests, they can’t claim that they’re
equipment wasn’t working or the location was wrong. Think about
it. If they get 100% correct when they know the right answer, and 30%
correct when they don’t, and nothing else has changed, then
what does that suggest?”
Jim nodded and continued watching. The
figures on the screen continued through the first set of trials, as
Professor Jenkis had described. Mr. Taylor seemed happy that he was
getting the correct answer from his Neutrino Tracker.
After the first
ten trials were over, the Professor Jenkis on the video asked Mr.
Taylor a question, “Having successfully used the Neutrino
Tracker to locate the subject ten times, are you now convinced that
the procedure is adequate and your equipment is fully functional?”
Taylor enthusiastically replied that he was convinced of those
things.
The figures on the
TV screen continued on with the second set of trials. This time,
Jenkis and Taylor would stand in front of the partitions until Taylor
decided where the subject was hiding. Jenkis would note Taylor’
selection on a clipboard and they would leave. When they had finished
all ten trials, the Professor and his assistant compared their notes.
“Three,”
Professor Jenkis announced.
“Three
what?” Mr. Taylor asked.
“You
selected the correct partition in three out of ten instances.”
Taylor was speechless. For nearly a
full minute, he stared at them with his mouth open. “This…
this … can’t be,” he stammered at last. “This
is some kind of set-up! Mr. Hennesey warned me that this might
happen.”
“May I remind you that the
entire test has been videotaped. Any dishonesty on our part regarding
the location of the subject would surely have been captured by the
camera.”
“This is outrageous…”
The real-life Professor Jenkis stopped the tape, and the screen went
black.
“He became somewhat abusive
after that, and stormed out of the building. I never did find out
what exactly we had done,” Jenkis explained. “I’ll
make you a copy of our final report. So what did you think? Was the
test biased?”
Jim thought about it carefully, but
couldn’t find any flaw with their procedure. “It seemed
fair enough to me,” he said.
The Professor smiled and leaned back
into his chair. “It’s also worth noting that before we
conducted the test, Mr. Taylor offered to show me the internal
workings of the Tracker. I’m not an expert in electronics, so I
asked a PhD electrical engineer to tag along. He ended up writing a
part of the report on the device, in which he explained that the
impressive looking electronics in the antenna area were not actually
hooked up to the power supply. They looked convincing to the layman,
but weren’t even functional.”
“There’s one thing that I
don’t understand. Mr. Taylor seemed to actually believe in the
Neutrino Tracker. If there’s no power going to the antenna,
then how does the antenna move?”
“It’s like a dowsing rod,
basically. The antenna is precariously balanced on the handle, so
that slight movements of the hand can cause large swings of the
antenna. So someone holding the device can subconsciously affect the
direction of the antenna by the way they hold it. It’s called
the ideomotor effect. That’s why the antenna pointed to the
correct box when Mr. Taylor knew the right answer.”
“So it’s a total scam,”
Jim said, finally convinced.
“I’m afraid so. Of course,
I was reasonably certain of that from the beginning.”
“How’s that?”
“All their talk about neutrinos
was nonsense! Do you know what a neutrino is?”
“Well, I’ve heard the word
before… in some science fiction shows.”
“Neutrinos are subatomic
particles typically produced by stars, supernovae, nuclear reactors
and the like. If Neutrino Corp had actually invented a hand-held
neutrino emitter that could somehow bounce the neutrinos off of
people and receive the response, it would be worth a dozen Nobel
Prizes. Heck, that discovery would be so amazing that the Nobel
committee would even toss in a Nobel Peace Prize just for fun.”
* * *
Over the course of the next few days,
Jim carefully considered all of his options. He thought about just
leaving things alone, and letting the Fire Department make their own
mistakes, but eventually his civic pride won out. It was his tax
dollars that they were spending, after all. Jim decided to find the
Captain named in the article, William Coleman, and explain the
situation.
After a few calls to various
receptionists in the LAFD bureaucracy, Jim learned that William
Coleman was the Station Commander at Fire Station 64, serving south
LA. That same day, Jim decided to drop by and see if he could
maneuver his way into meeting with him.
Fire Station 64 was a proud building,
with perfectly maintained trimmings and immaculate grounds. The front
door led into a small, beige office with a desk and a chair. At the
desk, a young woman in her twenties was busy with some paperwork. She
was wearing a white, LAFD tee-shirt that was only a few shades
lighter than her blond hair. She looked up at him as he entered.
“Can I help you?” she
asked.
“My name is Jim Sayles, and I
was hoping that I could speak to Captain William Coleman, or perhaps
make an appointment if he’s not available,” Jim said.
She mulled this over for a minute
before responding, “I don’t know what to tell you. I’m
not a receptionist – I’m just using the office to fill
out some paperwork. Are you from City Hall?”
“No, actually. I’m just a
concerned citizen.”
The firefighter raised her eyebrows
quizzically and said, “Listen, bud. This is a fire station, not
a manicurist. You think you can just drop by anytime you want?
Members of the public are supposed to schedule a visit between
the hours of 8:00 AM and 9:00 PM, Monday to Saturday.”
“I’m not looking for a
tour of the station. I just want to speak to Captain Coleman for a
few minutes.”
She crossed her arms and looked at him
appraisingly, still unsure of how to react. “Could I at least
ask what this is about?”
“Right now, the city is
considering buying four devices called ‘Neutrino Trackers’
for the Fire Department, at $15, 000 a pop.”
“Yeah, I know. We’ve been
talking about it a lot lately at the station.”
“I’ve been researching the
Neutrino Trackers, and I believe that they’re completely
fraudulent.”
“What makes you say that?”
Jim recounted his
experiences at UCLA and showed her the report.
When he had
finished his explanation, she shook her head slowly and said, “I
knew it. I tried to tell the guys last night that it sounded fishy.
You know the saying: if it sounds too good to be true…”
“It probably is,” Jim
said.
“And the worst thing is, they
made this scam specifically to rip off Fire and Police Departments.
If they were ripping off the IRS, it wouldn’t be so bad. But
people’s lives are on the line here.” The Firefighter was
fuming.
“That’s why I’m
here.”
She studied Jim carefully, and said, “
Alright, I believe you. I?ll do what I can to help.”
“That’s
great! I’m really glad to have some help. For a while there, I
was starting to feel a bit in-over-my-head.”
“I’m
Laura. You’re Jim, right?”
“Right.”
“Follow me,
Jim. I think we should be able to find Bill somewhere around here.”
* * *
They found Bill
overseeing maintenance on some firefighting equipment that Jim
couldn’t identify. Laura introduced Jim and asked if he could
spare a few moments to talk to them. The Captain cordially agreed and
suggested that they use his office.
Once inside,
Captain Coleman offered each of them a chair, before asking, “What’s
up?”
Jim wasn’t
sure who should speak first – he was a little nervous
addressing the Station Commander – but Laura left it up to him.
So Jim explained his suspicions once again and showed the Captain the
report.
When Jim had
finished, the Captain leaned back in his chair and twirled a pen
around while staring off into space. Thinking that this could be a
bad sign, Jim looked over at Laura, but she didn’t seem
concerned.
Eventually, the
Captain said, “When looking at new technology, it’s
always a balancing act, between getting on at the ground floor but
still trying not to get ripped off. You’re not the first to
express such concerns to me, although I must say you are the most
eloquent and knowledgeable so far. Still, I’m not sure that I
believe you. The salesman… what was his name…?”
“Was it
Henessey or Taylor?” Jim suggested.
“Henessey!
That was it! As I was saying, when Henessey first came to me, he was
quite convincing in his claims that his discovery was being
deliberately suppressed. In fact, he was quite convincing in
everything he said. That guy could talk a dog off a meat truck. So
I’ll just ask you directly. Why should I believe you over him?”
“The test
that the University conducted was straightforward and conclusive.
When the person using the Neutrino Tracker didn’t know where
the person was hiding, he didn’t do any better than what would
be expected by chance.”
“How can I
be sure that the test wasn’t rigged?”
“They
videotaped the whole experiment. I can get you the tape.”
Captain Coleman
thought this over some more, and said, “That does cast doubt on
things. But even if I decided that you were right, it’s out of
my hands at this point. The issue is going to be discussed by the
Board of Fire Commissioners, and their recommendation will likely go
through. You could speak at the meeting. Members of the public are
usually limited to three minutes, but I could pull a few strings and
get you in as an expert.”
“I’m
hardly an expert…” Jim began.
“You spoke
well enough to me. Just repeat what you said here and you’ll be
fine. Unfortunately, I don’t think it will help, given the
politics involved. This is a popular device. I mean, people in the
Fire Department want to appear to embrace new technology, and I doubt
that they’ll be anxious to let it go.”
“A simple
test under controlled conditions is all it takes to see that the
device doesn’t work. All you really need is three boxes, a
Neutrino Tracker, and someone to stick in one of the boxes for the
Tracker to detect.”
“Then why
don’t we do it.”
“Do it? Do
what?”
“You know,
the test – like you described just now.”
“Repeat the
test? Now?”
“No, I was
thinking more along the lines of repeating the test at the Board of
Fire Commissioners meeting next week.”
“We could do
that?”
“Sure! I
could book a larger meeting room and we could set things up there. If
Henessey is willing to show up and operate the Tracker… well,
it would be a very convincing demonstration no matter what the
result. In these matters, you have to think about ‘showmanship.’
If that test turns out the way you say it will, my last reservation
about you, as well as the reservations of the Commissioners, would
disappear.”
“That just
might be… Now that I think of it, we’d need a few other
things as well, other than the boxes. Nothing I shouldn’t be
able to arrange.”
“I’m
glad to hear it. You go talk to Henessey, and I’ll make a few
calls to City Hall. We’ll get this sorted out yet.”
* * *
Before Jim left
the Fire Station, Laura had asked the Captain if she could accompany
him to Neutrino Corp. The Captain allowed it, and the two of them set
off in Jim’s car. Nearly an hour later, Jim found the small
industrial mall that was Neutrino Corp’s rented headquarters.
He parked in the mostly-empty lot outside and read the sign above
their rental unit: “Neutrino Corp, Human Detection Systems for
Police and Fire.”
Jim and Laura
walked into the building and were greeted by a pleasant, middle-aged
receptionist. When they asked to see Mr. Henessey, the receptionist
said that she would check and walked back into the employees only
area. A moment later, she reappeared and informed them that Mr.
Henessey was on the phone with an important client, but that he was
just wrapping up and they could follow her to his office and speak to
him as soon as he was finished.
They politely
accepted and followed her down a hallway. As they walked, they could
hear loud, boisterous laughter from one of the offices. They soon
reached the door to the office; Mr. Henessey was sitting behind his
desk, apparently exchanging jokes with a client. Once he had noticed
their presence, he motioned for Jim and Laura to enter and take a
seat.
Jim observed David
Henessey carefully while he waited. Mr. Hennesey was probably about
fifty, balding, and by no means slim. But he truly looked like a
salesman, wearing old-fashioned suspenders along with his shirt and
tie. His face was beet red from laughing so much, and he kept making
broad, expressive gestures with his hands, as though the person on
the other end could see him.
After another
minute or two, Henessey managed to get off of the phone with excuses
about some other ‘very important clients’ that he had to
look after. As soon as he hung up, without even pausing to take a
breath, he asked, “And how can I help you fine people this
afternoon?”
“My name is
Jim, and this is Laura…”
“Very
pleased to meet you Jim,” Henessey interrupted, rising from his
chair to shake Jim’s hand. “And Laura, I’m always
glad to make the acquaintance of lovely women such as yourself.”
Laura shook his hand politely, but Jim suspected that she was
unimpressed by the attempt at flattery.
“We’re
here on behalf of Bill Coleman…”
“Yes, I
remember Bill! You won’t find a better firefighter anywhere.
He’s a pillar of the community.”
“Yes, well,
I just have a few questions to ask…”
“Fire away!”
It had only been a
minute since the start of the meeting, but Henessey’s habit of
interrupting was already grating on Jim’s nerves. “First
off,” Jim began cautiously, “there’s been some
concern over a report published by UCLA…”
“Yes, that
report. Those UCLA ‘scientists’ have caused us endless
trouble with their meddling. I’ll tell you right now, don’t
believe a word that’s in there. They just can’t take the
fact that a ‘common man’ thought of the idea before the
hot-shot professors did.”
“Right. So
the people at the University sabotaged the test?”
“I can’t
prove it. Even if I could show some sort of interference, they could
always claim that it was some experiment in some other building that
they didn’t know would affect the Neutrino Tracker. Plausible
deniability’s what they call it. But really, what are the
odds?”
“I’m
still not sure what you mean. How did they interfere with the
Neutrino Tracker?”
“Well I
don’t know exactly what they used. They must have jammed my
Neutrinos using an energy emitter with the opposite etherial
frequency to the Tracker.”
“Neutrino
Jamming? So the University has some sort of neutrino-blocking energy
ray?”
Henessey looked at
Jim gravely, and said, “I suppose you could call it that.”
Jim did his best
to give no hint of his thoughts on this suggestion. Instead, he
looked over at Laura, who seemed to be slightly amused. Jim nodded
curtly and said, “Okay, then. I have some good news…”
“The Fire
Department wants more Neutrino Trackers?”
“No, the
order is still for four of them. I imagine they’ll want to try
them out a bit before they consider ordering more. The good news is
that I can make the UCLA report disappear.”
“You’re
a magician, eh?”
“I didn’t
mean literally. I mean that we can stop that report from being a
hindrance to your business.”
“Intriguing.”
“It’s
quite simple, really. The cornerstone of that report was the test
that UCLA conducted and sabotaged. Therefore, the best way to put the
fears of the Commissioner’s Board to rest would be to repeat
the test. Only this time, we would do it at the Board Meeting in City
Hall, right in front of all the Commissioners, in a building that
UCLA would have no access to. Since there’s no possibility of
sabotage, you would be able to clear the air…”
“No,”
Henessey interjected.
“…once
and for all,” Jim continued. A second later, the word’s
meaning finally registered in Jim’s brain. “Did you just
say no?” he inquired. The good-natured expression of Mr.
Henessey became like a mask, with only a glimmer of his true
hostility showing through his eyes. He knows, Jim thought to
himself. He’s not deluded like Taylor; he knows he can’t
pass the test.
“That’s
correct,” Henessey said, with finality.
Jim mentally
kicked himself for not having considered this possibility earlier.
Jim struggled to retain his composure, but inside he was panicked.
What am I going to tell Captain Coleman if Henessey won’t do
the test? he thought. “May I ask why not?”
Henessey crossed
his arms and his smile faded. “Because I don’t trust
you.”
“It won’t
look good if you refuse the test. You could lose the sale.”
Henessey shrugged.
“Maybe. But I’d lose a lot more sales if you sabotage
another test.”
Jim tried his best
to look shocked. “I’m not trying to suppress your
invention. I have no connection whatsoever with UCLA…”
“That
doesn’t mean that they didn’t hire you. Or that you don’t
sympathize with them.”
“In order to
sabotage the second test, I would have to get one of those jammers,
smuggle it into city hall and set it up somewhere to project the ray
onto the meeting room. I’m not a PhD; I don’t know how to
do any of that.”
“There are
plenty of other low-tech things you could do.”
“Like what?”
“Like lying!
If I said there was someone behind door number three, you could just
say that there wasn’t and pretend that I was wrong.”
“That’s
ridiculous! We’ll just have one of the Commissioners oversee
the testing. You trust them, right?”
“I’m
not doing it.” Henessey was resolute.
If Henessey
knows that he can’t perform, then there’s no way that I
can reason with him, Jim thought. The situation seemed hopeless.
But then an idea occurred to him. “What if the boxes had big
plexiglass windows in them, so everyone could see what was in behind?
I couldn’t possibly cheat then, right?” Laura turned
towards Jim and stared at him incredulously. “We could do the
first ten trials like in the first test, with exactly one person in
one of the three boxes and with me revealing the correct answer. Of
course, you could see the person standing there so it would hardly be
necessary. But then in the second ten trials, I could try to confuse
the Tracker. Maybe there will be multiple humans, or none at all, or
animals or inanimate objects. The Neutrino Tracker can tell the
difference between those, right?”
Henessey eyed Jim
suspiciously, just as surprised as Laura. “What if I show up
and there’s no windows in the boxes?”
“Simple.
Just tell everyone that I lied and don’t do the test.”
“Deal,”
Henessey said, handing Jim a business card. “Here’s my
number. When everything’s arranged, you just tell me where and
I’ll be there.”
After that was
settled, Jim and Laura left. The moment they reached the parking lot,
Laura exploded: “What is wrong with you? If there are big
windows then everyone will be able to see what’s inside,
Henessey included. How could he possibly fail?”
“Don’t
worry Laura,” Jim replied. “I have a plan.”
“Maybe he
thinks you’re going to do some kind of magic trick. Switching
people out while he’s scanning with trap doors or something
like that.”
“I’ll
bet he’s counting on it. He wants me to do something against
the rules and get caught. That would certainly make it seem like his
little conspiracy theory was right after all.”
“I hope you
know what you’re doing.”
“So do I.”
* * *
The days before
the test were busy ones. Jim spent every spare moment working on the
preparations, either planning the setup at the meeting room they had
booked in City Hall East, or preparing the wooden boxes with the
windows for the actual test. He wanted to leave nothing to chance.
At about 8:00 am,
on the morning of the Board of Fire Commissioner’s meeting, Jim
sat waiting in the City Hall East parking lot, leaning against the
side of his car. He was waiting for Laura to show up, so that they
could run through the plan one more time, and set everything up.
Five minutes
later, she pulled her car into the lot and parked next to Jim. She
stepped out of the car and Jim said, “Good morning, Laura. I’ve
got the three boxes moved inside already. I decided not to modify the
ones that UCLA used. Jenkis offered, but I don’t want them to
be able to suggest that there’s anything wrong with the wood or
anything like that.” For the test, Laura had chosen a pair of
black pants and a light blue LAFD sweat-shirt. The outfit looked good
on her – anything would – but Jim thought it made her
pale complexion and equally pale blond hair stand out noticeably. Of
course, she seemed a bit paler than usual.
“Jim, we’ve
got a problem,” she said nervously.
“What
problem?”
She opened up the
trunk of her car. One back seat was folded down to accommodate the
cargo. Laura reluctantly pulled the blanket back and revealed what
was beneath.
Jim gasped. “What
is this?” he asked.
“They made a
mistake at the shop. I tore the guy apart – he almost cried –
but there’s no time to make another.”
“But we
can’t use this.”
Laura lowered her
eyes, and said, “I’m sorry, Jim. I don’t know what
we’re going to do.”
Jim didn’t
either, but he resolved to think of something. He paced up and down
the parking lot, concentrating intensely. Each time he passed by her,
he would look over at Laura, hoping that maybe she had come up with
an idea. She stood by her car, staring into the trunk. Jim
eventually, walked up to her, and spent a minute looking back and
forth between her and the trunk.
“Maybe this
isn’t so bad,” Jim said at last.
“Really,”
Laura said skeptically.
“You just
need more appropriate clothes. Does the Fire Department make that
shirt in, say… white or something?”
“I see what
you’re saying,” Laura said, nodding. “Hmmm…
I’ll see what I can do.”
* * *
The meeting room was quite large, as far as
meeting rooms go. It was a long room, with hardwood floors and picture
windows along one side. Normally, two long tables would have filled most
of the space, but one had been moved into a different room for the occasion.
At the far end of the room, where the second meeting table would normally
sit, Jim had set up some faded, red theatrical curtains that the city kept
around for kids programs. At the moment, the curtains were open. The three
boxes were in position near the back wall.
The first person
to arrive was David Henessey, who seemed to be in high spirits.
“Hello, Jim,” he said cheerfully.
“Hello,”
Jim replied.
“The Fire
Commissioners should be here in about half an hour. Not long now.”
“That’s
right.” Henessey grinned.
“Say…
Would it be alright if I took a look at those ‘testing
partition’ things?”
“Go right
ahead.”
“Thanks.”
Henessey sauntered
down to the makeshift performance area and examined all three of the
boxes, even stepping inside each one. After a few minutes passed
silently, Jim asked, “Good enough?”
“They’ll
do.” Jim figured that Mr. Henessey was still trying to figure
out what rules Jim would be breaking that could give Neutrino Corp
the ammunition they needed in their PR campaign. “What’s
behind there?” Henessey asked, indicating the collection of
objects in the curtained-off area.
“The
inanimate objects. And no, you can’t see them.” Henessey
shrugged.
Just then, someone
walked through the door at the far end of the room. He was wearing a
blue shirt and suit-jacket, but no tie. His carefully styled black
hair, and equally well-groomed mustache made it clear that he was
somehow a public figure. “Hello,” he said. “Jacinto
Balleza, LA Times. Is one of you Jim Sayles.”
“That’s
me,” Jim called back. “It’s good to finally meet
you in person. We’re all set here; just waiting for the Board.”
“Hello,
welcome to City Hall,” Henessey said, as though he owned the
place. “Jacinto, is it? I’m so glad to see a
representative of the media here for this… vindication? I’m
very pleased to make your acquaintance.”
Jacinto replied,
“Actually, we spoke a few weeks ago. I interviewed you over the
phone for the article…”
“Of course,
of course…” Henessey began walking over to Jacinto. Jim
checked his watch again, there were only fifteen minutes left until
the Board was scheduled to show up for the test, and Laura still
wasn’t back.
Others began to
trickle in and take their seats. Henessey used his charisma to
discover which ones were involved in the Fire Department and then ply
them with advertising. Eventually, the room was crowded with people;
a surprising number of ordinary citizens had shown up as well.
One of the last to
arrive was Captain Coleman himself. He walked up to the front of the
room and examined the stage area. “Jim, this is different,”
he said.
“Yes,”
Jim replied. “There’s been a slight change of plans. Mr.
Henessey expressed concerns about cheating in the test. We added
windows so that there will be no question about which boxes are
empty.”
Coleman gave Jim a
dubious look, and said, “But passing this test won’t
prove anything…”
“Henessey
wouldn’t do the test otherwise.” Jim lowered his voice,
“I think we’ll still be able to test him adequately.”
The Captain
sighed. “I don’t understand you Jim, but we’ll see
how things go. It looks like it’s about time to get things
started.”
Jim checked his
watch again, suddenly panicked. It was time to begin. He looked
around the room frantically, and breathed a sigh of relief when he
saw Laura working her way towards the front. Captain Coleman walked
to the meeting table, where someone immediately relinquished their
seat to him. Coleman had that effect on people.
“I think
we’re about ready to begin,” Jim called to the assembled
crowd. They quieted down, and he continued, “My name is Jim,
and over there is Laura.” Laura waved. “And today we’ll
be testing the Neutrino Tracker, manufactured by Neutrino Corp. David
Henessey is the inventor and CEO, and he will be the one operating
the device. I’ll just quickly run over the rules. In the first
ten trials, we’ll close the curtain, have Laura stand in one of
the boxes, and then have Mr. Henessey locate her with the Neutrino
Tracker. The reason that we’ll do this is to ensure that the
Neutrino Tracker is working properly and that there’s no
interference that could mess up the readings. The next ten trials
will be the real test. In those trials, we’ll try to confuse
the Neutrino Tracker. The boxes will contain somewhere between zero
and three living human beings, and any boxes without a person will
contain some type of inanimate object. Only one object will be placed
in each box. I ask that the people observing this test remain
completely silent no matter what. Is everything clear?”
“Just get on
with it!” Henessey called.
The first ten
trials took place more or less as Jim had described. At the end, Jim
announced, “That’s the end of the first test. As
expected, Mr. Henessey was correct in all the trials.”
“Naturally,”
Henessey said.
“Does this
mean that the testing procedure is acceptable and that you’re
Neutrino Tracker is working properly?”
“Yes.”
“And you
understand that in the next ten trials, we will intentionally attempt
to deceive the Neutrino Tracker with inanimate objects?”
“I
understand already. Let’s go! It’s almost lunch-time!”
Several members of the crowd snickered.
Jim drew the
curtain closed. When he pulled the curtain open again, Laura was
standing in the first box, a store-front mannequin was in the second,
and a yellow raincoat was hanging in the third.
“Do you
detect any human life signs?” Jim asked.
“Yes I do!
Box number one contains distinct human life signs.”
Once again, Jim
closed the curtains. When he opened them again, the first two boxes
contained a trench-coat and a wooden coat-rack. Laura’s grim
visage glared out of the window in the third box. She looked pale,
but the audience members who had noticed figured that it was just
nerves.
The remaining
eight trials were all conducted similarly, with Laura staring out of
one box, and two random objects in the others. When the test had
concluded, Jim said, “That’s the end of the test.”
“And the
results?” Henessey asked confidently.
“In the
first trial, Laura was standing in box number one, and you announced
that box number one contained human life signs. That was correct.”
Henessey, and some audience members applauded the result. “In
trial number two…”
“Are you
really going to list each trial like that?” Henessey asked.
“You’re just prolonging the inevitable!”
“Fine,”
Jim said. “In the remaining nine trials, your answers were
totally incorrect.” The crowd gasped collectively.
“Are you
insane? Everyone saw what was in those boxes!”
Jim continued as
if Henessey wasn’t even there: “In the other nine trials,
there were no human beings placed in any of the boxes, and the
inanimate object that the Neutrino Tracker consistently confused with
a human was this cardboard cutout.” Jim grabbed the cardboard
cutout from one of the boxes, and the real Laura stepped out from
offstage.
The spectators
burst into a riotous commotion. Jim saw Jacinto frantically making
notes in a notebook. Captain Coleman was smiling. Eventually, William
Coleman stood up and said, “Well, Jim, you’ve convinced
me. I can now happily admit that I was wrong.” The crowd
quieted down considerably to hear the Captain’s words. He
continued, “There’s just one thing I want to know. How
could you be sure that Henessey would be fooled by that cutout?”
Jim smiled
sheepishly and replied, “I didn’t. In fact, I’m
surprised that he didn’t figure out it sooner. This cutout was
printed in black-and-white. I mean, you don’t need a Neutrino
Tracker to see that.”
THE END
©Copyright 2002
Brad Smith
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